Hardcore Pawn

The title hardcore pawn is a bit of an experiment. This article has nothing to do with the t.v. show, so if that is what you are looking for, you may leave. I just want to see if a search term like hardcore pawn will get a huge amount of visitors to my mediocre blog.

I'd rather not say what I'm really doing, as there may be a certain somebody a reading this blog. I can't under estimate the evil in this world. I can say however that it is one of those things that can put a person under a ton of stress. Stress doesn't always have to be a bad thing though. Sometimes, stress is a motivator. I mean, I don't know if now is one of those times for me, but you get the gist.

Anywho, I just had a huge plummet in energy. I had my caffeine boost this morning, but damn, I'm kind of wondering at this point if it was even worth it. I got a dirty look from the cashier for paying in nickels and dimes. Fuck her, that's all I've got to say. That, and the girl at the pawn shoppe was cute. Just saying. There sure was a ton of shit to go through to pawn a few items off though. lol. Man, they really make you do some shit. Hope I don't fall asleep after writing this. I may just exercise, get my mind back on track.

Shit be hurting when you wake up

Fuck me man. Is it just me, or when you wake up, do all your muscles hurt as though you've fallen off of a bridge? Somebody else in this world has to have the same damn problem. Anybody? Fucking crickets man. Ok, so here's what I'm going to be doing today.

Signing up for school! Yay! I'm sure you guys can feel the sarcasm dripping down your balls. Look here, school is seriously the cause of all my problems. No, scratch that, it's people. Specific people. Women specifically are the cause of all my problems. I have seriously never had any problems with guys. I would love to be gay if it weren't for the fact that I'd feel shameful and gross after playing with some dudes penis. I couldn't bring myself to enjoy it, and isn't that what life is all about? Fucking enjoyment? I would think so. Plus, women are just all around more attractive. Even women that I've talked to think that other women are attractive. Men just aren't. Sorry guys. Fuck! It's the personality though. Women are born evil. Evil little sexy vixen sluts. I like it, but I wish they wouldn't steal my money.

It's kind of cool when they're on your side though. Like my current girl friend is evil, but like for me. It's pretty cool. I love her. :)

If you Believe

This is the kind of thing that gets my juices flowing. Just sitting back, relaxing, creating. I feel like I may die though. Here is where the problem lies, there's something here I must disguise. I don't want to die right now, when all I see and hear is cow. I forgot to disclose that I am a bit of a poet. The problem is staying on a subject once I find a subject that's good enough for me to stay on. It's so hot though. The best books are written by force though, am I right? or am I write? get it? Ha! That's freakin funny. I know you junk buckets aren't laughing. why aren't you laughing? Fuck! it hurts to sit here and sweat all day, but there is nothing that I can do about the thousand degree temperature.

I have a problem staying focused. Please help. I don't know what to write about, and it should be apparent for anyone reading this. Maybe there is a pill I can take? But what are the implications of messing with the brain? Whatever they are, they can't possibly be good. I think that if I meditate, it helps to stay focused when writing. That's what I believe any way. And if you believe something, it may very well come true.

Summer

So, it's summer. It's to hot to do anything at all. I enjoy selling all this shit that I have up on the ebays, but damn, the whole, "post it and see what sells" attitude doesn't seem to be working. There is obviously a bit more research involved than that. I wouldn't mind being a part of the make money niche, but people are going a bit psycho with all the money that I owe.

Let's just say that financially, things aren't going so well. I'm not going to die or anything like that, but it is a problem to pay for food. I don't want to go back to being a cam model again. It wouldn't be a bad job, if I were gay, and/or didn't have to lie about being straight. It is what it is. I think I've kind of decided what I want to do here. I want to do something like this where I just write about whatever the fuck that I want, and this in its self is kind of it's own niche. Lot's of people don't have a clue as to what they want to do, right?

Mountains of Work

What I keep hearing all the time, is that true genius is creating mountains of work. Of course all this becomes natural after awhile, but the point is, I know what I want to do. It's ridiculous to even imagine that there are people who go to work every day, and don't give a fuck about what they do. Motivation is tough. I think it would be fun though to put on a show for people. A show about something that I actually care about.

If I could ask one person one question, it would have to be Henry Rollins, and the question would be "How the fuck do you stay focused, and how do you know what matters in what you do?" I guess you never know what the right thing is. I'll figure this out one day. Maybe this is a topic for another blog.