Call me a friend.

I was hungry, but now I'm relaxed. Some days I feel as though I have been run over by a car. On days like that - yesterday for instance - the amount of motivation to get things done doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter, simply cause you don't have the energy to do anything. When have your days fall into this criteria, what do you do? So, it's not a lack of motivation, as much as it is a lack of energy, of "get up and go". You can try to work through the tired, but sometimes I think that my body is saying "I need a nap!"

Today is much better. In fact, think today will be productive. The only issue that I have is that it's raining. So, if I want to go anywhere, and do something fun, it will be rained out. There is one thing that I have to do though. Feed the neighbor's cat. Makes me happy to walk out into the rain. If you'll excuse me, I have a nice long list of people that I need to call.

Down in a Hole

I think writing is cathartic. I hope it is anyway. The people in my stories may have problems. Maybe not the same problems that I do, but I can create some pretty awesome reasons for a character to experience anxiety. I don't know if I have the patience to do all that though. There are some philosophical things that I think about regularly though, that I think would make good fodder for a fiction book.

For now, I'm trying to figure out the difference between socialism and communism. Communism has a bad reputation, and its detractors say that it has been tried and failed over and over again. I don't think that this is the case though. I think that true communism has never been tried. Not that it matters too much. I shudder to think what I have become. This is ok though. We are not our worst parts. We are a combination of crazy things. Philosophically thinking, there must be something that can get me out of the rut that I feel that I am in.

Flippin and Trippin

I got a screaming baby to deal with. She's not really screaming, but I got the foggy headed syndrome. Oh, it's bad. The drugs don't help. What I've found that drugs do, is make it so that you have all these ideas poppin into your head, and you can get more things done, cause it just helps you keep track of more things, faster. I don't know if you can tell how extremely distracted I am.

I don't really think it matters, just as long as I get something down. A thought or two. The good thoughts are all so fleeting. It's like you have to catch them before they float away. Hit the reset button on your head sort of speak. So, what I intend to do today, is sign up for that site where you can test out other people's web sites, in addition to Patreon, and fucking, maybe try out some textbook flipping. Yes, I do intend to pay for that shit.

Philosophy Writing

I have a few days off here. This is a rather strange feeling for me. Good news though, I don't have to pay child support. Bad news, I will never be able to see this child. No need to stress over it. It's funny, I could tell myself that I shouldn't stress over something like this, but then when it comes down to it, I don't think that is something that I can control.

So, what do I do with this day off? Is it something even worth thinking about? I was reading that while caffeine may boost focus, the opposite may boost creativity. Beer! Do I want to be creative? I suppose when writing a story, that it's a good plan. There's a certain brilliance to all that. Do I want to be regarded as creative? I think so. I think I want to get that degree in philosophy. What am I going to do with it though? Fucking be a writer, that's what. What will I write? Fiction. I'm looking forward to that. :)